The Care and Keeping of the Domesticated Penguin

The Care and Keeping of the Domesticated Penguin

The Domesticated Penguin is particularly sought out, as fresh penguin eggs are an essential ingredient in many surrealist recipes, including the infamous Surrealist Omelet.

In fact, stale penguin eggs can explode without warning, and some have been known to burst into song, which makes them inedible.

If you want to keep Domesticated Penguins, you must be careful.

The Domesticated Penguin must be kept in an environment of both fire and ice.

This makes the care and keeping of the Domesticated Penguin difficult for the average homeowner.

Constructing an environment of fire and ice requires the free flow of both coolant and heatant and a knowledge of the alchemy needed to keep one in balance with the other.

The Domesticated Penguin needs such an environment in order maintain the physiological balance between its heart, which is frozen, and it’s circulatory system, which flows with liquid flame.

The Domesticated Penguin is both cold-hearted and hot-blooded, a wonder of modern zoology.

The Domesticated Penguin is only vaguely related to the wild penguin.

Introducing fire to the circulatory system of a wild penguin is not recommended.

For the Domesticated Penguin, a balanced diet is essential for maintaining their elemental equilibrium.

Feed them ice cream sprinkled with fireflies and glowworms, mixed salads of iceberg lettuce and the petals of Mexican fire plants, or kabobs of snow hares and fire ants.

Of course, Banana Foster Flambé is a particular favorite of the Domesticated Penguin.

To purchase Domesticated Penguins, seek a local rancher for your initial stock.

Penguins ordered through mail often turn out to be plastic.