Autumn Porridge Cows

For Porridge Cow afficionados, fall is the favorite time of the year, as Porridge Cow farmers begin to gather in their porridge cows from the fields where they have foraged throughout the summer season.  Since porridge cows move very slowly (most glaciers would beat a porridge cow in a race), farmers do not drive their porridge cows home in herds. That would take years. Rather, they load them on trucks or on trailers, and haul them in from the fields. While the farmers are preparing their porridge cow barns for long winter habitation, they often brighten the sides of roadways with large groups of porridge cows awaiting the readying of the barn.

It is indeed a beautiful sight. The ignorant have often stopped and snickered at such sights, encumbered by the false belief that they have discovered porridge cows mating. The positioning of one porridge cow atop another is merely for convenience of storage and not for the purposes of copulation. Porridge cows are born pregnant and thus do not engage in sexual activity, which is fortunate, as there’s little chance that a porridge cow in the wild would live long enough (given the slow pace of their movements) even to get remotely close to another porridge cow, much less close enough to initiate sexual contact.

So, let’s just enjoy the porridge cows for what they are–a wonderful part of the autumn landscape.