This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven

Well, it was a surprise to me as well, but today I was taken up bodily into heaven. And, the even better news is that there’s free wireless internet access in heaven. So here I am blogging from heaven. And let me clear up one misconception. My clothes came with me. All those empty trousers and shirts you see around—not an accurate representation of what actually happens in heaven.

Other good things about heaven: Jesus tweets. And He has made sure that in heaven, twitter is never over capacity. And heaven makes sure that all ads are blocked on Facebook.

My only regret is that I missed Kristina’s Rapture Day Yard Sale.  Once you get up into heaven, it’s hard to get back to town for a yard sale.

Oh, and the Pixies were right:  God is seven.